i still miss her

Posted on October 3, 2013 by tara

I know most people might skip over this post… because yes, it’s about my guinea pig, Maggie, who passed away five months ago. But honestly… I don’t care if no one else cares. I still miss her. So much. And I feel like I need to write this, at least for myself.

I don’t know how five months of her being gone can feel like the same amount of time as the seven years I got to enjoy her presence. Time can be so cruel.

I loved Maggie so much that one of my greatest fears was waking up one day and finding that she had passed away. One of my favorite things was seeing her happy face and singing “goooood moooorning!” as I went to greet her each day. I was always afraid I wouldn’t get to say goodbye to her before she left me.

Fast forward to 5.5 months ago. I went out to Utah for a week, and Michael took care of my piggies for me. He would send me pictures and updates. We knew that Maggie was really starting to show her age… and once again, I hoped she wouldn’t pass without me being there to say goodbye. I came home from Utah on May 4th.

On May 6th, I found Maggie flipped over on her back, unable to get up on her own. I knew in my heart that she was suffering, and she looked so tired. She had a tumor that seemed to have grown exponentially in a short time, which I’m guessing was some type of ovarian cancer (but I’m no doctor…). I cried so hard as I realized that there wasn’t really a choice. I didn’t want her to endure pain any longer, especially since I had no idea how long she was struggling on her back that way. What if it happened again?

I knew that Lelia was free that morning, so I called her, and through tears, I asked her to go to the vet with me. I’m so thankful that I had my sister there for comfort. I could not have done it alone.

We had a 12 pm appointment. Waiting was the hardest part. I pet her, held her, and talked to her. I told her I was so sorry, probably about a million times. Honestly, I felt like I didn’t do enough for my pigs after I got pregnant and had Kaya. Sure, she had all the necessities and a big cage to run in. I just hope she felt loved.

The vet examined her and agreed that it was time to say goodbye.

Maggie gave me these little kisses on my finger right up until the sedative kicked in. I took a long time petting her and saying my goodbyes. I told the vet I was ready (as ready as you can be to leave your best furry friend forever), and kissed her head one last time. The vet took her to the back room to put her to sleep (since guinea pigs have small veins, they don’t let the owner be there when they do it).

I’m so grateful I had the chance to say goodbye, even though I never expected to have to choose to have her put to sleep. I can still feel her soft fur under my fingertips, hear her happy “wheeeeeks!”, and see the way she used to shuffle around the cage when she was excited for something (usually veggies!).

Maggie, you might not have meant anything to the world, but you were a HUGE part of mine. I keep a picture of you on my nightstand, and there isn’t a day I don’t remember all the joy you brought to my life.

Thanks again, Magamuffin. See you again someday (and I hope you wobble up to me wheeking and looking for a carrot and a scratch on the head).

I still miss you.

I still love you.

friday thoughts

Posted on May 10, 2013 by tara

We’ve had quite a crazy week, with just getting back home from my Utah trip, cuddling a teething baby, editing three photoshoots, and saying goodbye to my sweet Maggie. The weather is at least looking a bit more like spring, so we’ve been enjoying more time outside (although 3 of my 4 runs this week were in the RAIN)!

Juni seems to be doing okay without Maggie. They were more like roommates than best friends, after all. The cage just seems so big and quiet now. Juni hasn’t been too excited about her veggies, so she had some parsley this morning as a treat.I had a photoshoot with a sweet family from church last night. Kaya and I got there a little early, so I played around with the beautiful lighting while she (re)discovered grass.

(and she tried to eat a stick…)

Kaya’s had a bit of a rough week with teething, but the top two front teeth have both finally broken through the gum! She seems more like her normal, happy self today so far. (Although she is going on three hours of napping right now!)
I also forgot how much I love listening to this song. It’s silly, I know, but it is a good reminder of the simple things in life. I’m definitely looking forward to some great family time this weekend!

I still plan to show off all the fun I had in Utah, but I have a TON of photos to go through, so it might take me a little longer than I’d like. Stay tuned and happy weekend! 🙂

photo-a-day for may (1-6)

Posted on May 7, 2013 by tara

As I mentioned last week, I’m doing this photo challenge for May. So far, it’s been a lot of fun and it has helped me see each day a little differently!

Day 1 (I bought this!): “Granola” bars for the flight home. I don’t normally buy these, so they were a treat!

Day 2 (morning ritual): I run at least four miles, five times a week. Starting my day with exercise is so invigorating!

Day 3 (this is really good!): We had some AMAZING weather on Friday. It actually felt like spring! Kaya and I enjoyed some time outside with my mom and dad-in-law. Kaya is infatuated with Scrappy, and he was so patient with her!

Day 4 (in my cup): Sweet Frog frozen yogurt! I think I put nearly every chocolate topping on it…

Day 5 (paper): I received my institute diploma! (Institute is basically a church program that holds classes to study scriptures). I was missing just one class for credit, but I finally finished!

Day 6 (broken): My heart has been broken since I said goodbye to Maggie yesterday. I wanted one last picture together before we went to the vet.

dear maggie

Posted on May 6, 2013 by tara

Dear Maggie,

Today, I made one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make.

I helped you leave all your aches and pains behind.

And I cried harder than I have in a very long time.

Maggie, your life meant so much more to me than I could ever write. We were best friends from the moment I first held you. You nestled into me and made that happy little noise you always would when you were content. My heart was stolen, and I begged my mom to let me take you home.You saw me graduate high school, get married, finish college, and even have a baby. You even had to have surgery to have an abscess removed. We might’ve seemed crazy to spend $400 to save a guinea pig, but it bought us three extra years together.When we were first married, I couldn’t find a job, and we were new at church without any friends. I felt lonely, but you were always there for snuggling. When people did start coming over, talking about you was the perfect ice-breaker.
I love your wiggly little nose, crazy fur, and the funny mohawk you’d get after a haircut.You were here on the earth with me for almost a third of my entire life. Today when we said goodbye, it almost felt as if a little piece of me went with you. I’m so grateful for the time I was able to nurture you and be your “mommy”. Thanks for being my first baby.

See you in Heaven someday.

Maggie (nicknamed Magamuffin, Muffin, Muffinhead, Mufftey, and Muffmuff)
December 20, 2005 – May 6, 2013

insta-jam for august!

Posted on September 3, 2012 by tara

This might be the last “insta-jam” that doesn’t include any pictures of a cute little munchkin! August seriously flew by, and I’m guessing that September will too…

1: I tried some more crockpot recipes, including homemade chicken and dumplings! Mmmm. It turned out so delicious! I definitely think the crockpot is going to be my new best friend once munchkin arrives and I don’t have time to stand over the stove.

2: Our friends ding-dong-ditched us some cupcakes… don’t worry, we ditched them some cookies in return!

3: We house-sat/watched a family of kids for a week, but just at nighttime. There are five girls in the family and two of them were eager to paint nails, so I let them do mine! They were pretty creative, as you can tell, and my toes actually turned out even wilder than my fingers.

4: Michael got a new tablet, so I got the “old” one. And what was the first thing I did with it? Change the wallpaper to horses, of course! I am loving using the tablet instead of my old old brick-of-a-computer.

1: This wouldn’t be an insta-jam without some cute animal photos, so here’s Juni enjoying her pink zebra-stripe hut. I’m glad she finally figured out that she’s supposed to lay under it, not between the back of it and the wall!

2: Parsley is a special treat for a piggy!

3: One morning, Michael decided to get up early for a bike ride before work. It wasn’t even ten minutes after he left when he called me, and of course I panicked, thinking he had gotten hurt. Instead, he told me he had found this puppy, and she kept following him and laying down at his feet if he stopped. He asked what he should do, and of course I said… bring her home! She looked like she’d been outside and walking all night, so we gave her a warm bath and called the phone number on her collar. Her owner came to get her pretty quickly, but it was fun having a puppy for a few minutes!

1: Michael had his 25th birthday! I surprised him with a banner and balloons already hanging when he woke up.

2: Michael got his new tablet. He’s been waiting and waiting and contemplating which one he wanted, and picked the Nexus 7. It was sort-of-an-early-birthday gift and I’m glad he is so happy with it.

3: We went to Macado’s for his birthday dinner, and he got a “Cowpoke” sandwich (I’m not even sure why it’s called that, since there is chicken and bacon on it, but no beef)! I got my usual chicken caesar sandwich.

4: A few days after his birthday, Michael’s side of the family came up to visit. Now, it wouldn’t be a real visit if we didn’t go out for Chinese- that’s pretty much tradition! I’m not really sure what Kevin is doing, but at least it didn’t get us kicked out of the restaurant!

if you give a mouse a cookie…

Posted on July 12, 2012 by tara

…or a guinea pig a box, you’ll be in for some good entertainment! We’ve been getting quite a few packages around here lately, and Maggie and Juni haven’t had a box to play with for while, so why not? I even cut a door in it and put their favorite blanket and stuffed caterpillar in there in case they wanted to sleep in it, but it turns out that both my pigs are too good for the “Box Hotel” and would rather just sleep under the blankets.

They begin by innocently greeting the box.

And even take a peek inside.

Until they conclude that the box is only worthy of being destroyed.

(The lump under the blanket is Juni!)

Their five-second attention span means that the fun didn’t last very long. At least I got some cute pictures out of it!

insta-jam for june!

Posted on July 4, 2012 by tara

I took a LOT of pictures this month. That just means my life is super interesting, right?

1: We were having some beautiful June weather, so we went out for a walk one night. Of course, it started raining, and Michael didn’t have a jacket so we ended up waiting awhile under a tree!

2, 3 & 4: We stopped at the playground on our walk. I’m glad we’re both such big kids… but swinging while pregnant does not feel so good. Don’t try it.

1: Breakfast time for piggies! They are always so happy and alert when I greet them in the morning.

2, 3 & 4: Just plain cuteness! I love those Juni lips.

1: My first ever oven-roasted chicken. I even made gravy! It was so easy and delicious and definitely worth buying the whole chicken. We ate it for about a week I think!

2: Homemade stir-fry. This was a new recipe for me, too! I was so proud of myself for actually cooking some real meals this month (for some reason, I am just not easily motivated to cook during pregnancy. It’s so weird because I used to cook all the time before). I’m sure Michael appreciates anything that isn’t frozen pizza or hotdogs.

3: A wild bunny we saw when we were out walking! At the end of our walk, we saw a run-over bunny and I busted out sobbing because I thought it was the same one.

4. Panda came camping with us. I guess he was scared of the dark since he was hanging out by the lantern!

1: New sunglasses because my pink and purple ones broke.

2: Cheap clothes I got for munchkin. I’m super excited about those little overalls!

3: The free Target beauty bag I got in the mail. Yay!

4. Michael learned a hard lesson: never send a pregnant lady to the store alone, because she WILL come back with donut holes (not like he minds)!

1: As you already know, Kroger does not have rainbow Twizzlers, so I “settled” for this red pack of Starbursts instead. They were so good! Mmm.

2. The next morning, I woke up to this love note on the kitchen counter.

3. I fell and hurt my knee pretty badly. Michael came home early from work to take care of me, since I couldn’t even put any weight on it, let alone clean it and wrap it myself (we actually didn’t even have many first-aid supplies, so he had to go buy some. Lesson learned)! I’m so grateful for my buddy who is always looking out for me.

4. One morning I woke up to this surprise- a cute game on the tablet! It’s called Kinectimals and Michael knew I would love it, so he downloaded it before I got up and then woke me up to surprise me.

1: I surprised Michael with freezie pops! Who knew you could get a big box of them at the Dollar Tree? He was thrilled!

2: We went out for milkshakes, and ended up getting an extra one for free because they messed up my first one. YUM!

3: Poor Michael studied for HOURS for this network intrusion exam he took at work. He passed, of course!

4: We got a piano! Michael was and still is so excited about this and I can’t wait to hear him play more often.

1: Balloons my mom got for the double baby shower we had with cousin Nicole!

2: After years of hearing about this place that Michael’s grandma used to take them to for ice cream, we finally got to go! It was delicious and worth the 3.5 year wait! Haha.

3: Lelia and Jeff are kind of weird, but we let them have ice cream with us too.

4: We had two HUGE storms. One of them hit while we were out of town at my parents’ house, where it wasn’t nearly as bad. A lot of people lost power and a lot of trees have gone down. What a mess. I’m grateful that our power didn’t go out though, because my pigs would have been pretty hot without the air conditioning.

insta-jam for may!

Posted on June 1, 2012 by tara

Here are my Instagram photos from the month of May! Of course, we have to start off with a round of food photos… If they make you drool, at least try not to get any on your keyboard.

1: Finally found rainbow Twizzlers at Walmart… my favorite thing!

2: Chinese buffet with Michael and his mom. My other favorite thing! We even tried a new restaurant!

3. Ice cream sundaes at home with my mom. Another favorite! We discovered that Kroger makes a pretty-darn-good “triple brownie” flavor. Good for us economical folks who can’t splurge on Edy’s all the time!

4. Dairy Queen blizzards on our anniversary date. Do I even need to repeat myself?

1. Michael finally got his Xbox. He’d been asking for it for so long and it was great to see how happy he was when he finally brought it home!

2. Browsing in JCPenney, we came across “many much moosen!” pillow pets. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you need to get acquainted with some Brian Regan.

3 & 4: Michael found this 500-piece puzzle at the dollar store, and it’s actually really nice! It also makes for a fun date or activity to do together.

1: New beads for my wire-wrapping projects!

2: An owl pendant I ordered along with the beads… but it turns out that he’s HUGE and I have no idea what I can use him for. I still really like him though!

3. On Mother’s Day, my primary kids gave me their coloring pages from class. So sweet.

4. A “seahorse jumping out of the water” drawing by another little boy in my class. I love its stripes and spikes!

1: Maggie, after her haircut and bath! She loves being clean and having short hair, especially now with summer!

2: This is how Juni eats lately. She stands up on her hind legs, sticks her head in the hay trough, and just nibbles away. Crazy pig!

3. Clothes from my mom for baby 🙂

4. Clothes I got on clearance (AND with a coupon!) online for munchkin. I can’t wait to dress her up!

general conference!

Posted on April 2, 2012 by tara

This weekend was The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints‘ General Conference! It only comes twice a year, so I really look forward to it. Conference can be an inspiring and uplifting experience for anyone, whether you’re a member of the church or not!

There were definitely a lot of talks about devoting time to strengthening the family. President Boyd K. Packer said, “Family time is sacred time, and should be protected and respected. We urge our members to show devotion to their families.” I think his talk may have been my favorite. I’ve made a goal for Michael and I to do better at holding family home evenings and regular family scripture study.

I also really wanted to take a family photo (including the piggies!), so Michael humored me and dragged the tripod, chair and pigs outside. I think this might be a nice tradition to hold every conference!

a piggy christmas

Posted on January 12, 2012 by tara

I really wanted to do something cute with my pigs for Christmas, and I had an extra string of lights this year, so why not ~~ruin their happiness~~ have some fun with that? You can’t go wrong with a pig in a Christmas basket!

Until someone tries to use the basket as her daily intake of fiber…

And, another type of “pig” that comes with the holidays would be all of us human pigs, eating sweets! I made these cupcakes for our Church Christmas party! Credit for the holly berry idea goes to Lelia!

Michael and Tara

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