Lately I feel like I’ve been on a roller coaster of emotion and self-discovery. Here are some of the things I’ve learned lately.
1. Preparation really IS key. Whether that pertains to being ready to teach a lesson at church on Sunday, having a savings account or even exercising, everything definitely goes a whole lot smoother when you put in that little bit of time and effort beforehand. I’m so grateful that I have been able to devote some time each day to exercising, because I believe it is making pregnancy a whole lot easier for me than if I hadn’t. That small amount of preparation is keeping my heart and blood pressure healthy, my weight gain low, and will hopefully make for a somewhat easier labor and delivery. Running every day makes me a stronger person physically, so shouldn’t daily “spiritual exercise” strengthen me spiritually? It might seem like one day of prayer and scripture study isn’t all that significant, but add up all the knowledge and spiritual strength you acquire over time, and that really does make a difference.
2. My capacity to love is infinite. I can’t even understand it. Ever since we found out about our little munchkin, I have gradually fallen in love with her. After seeing her sweet face on ultrasound last week, my feelings and care for her have increased a million fold! I could cry pretty much just thinking about her. I love her so much and cannot wait to meet her and hold her. She has really started to develop a little personality in there: she’ll kick and punch my hand when I touch her, she responds to music, and this morning she started kicking as soon as she heard our voices start talking. I could never imagine loving anyone this much and I know that once she’s born, I’ll love her a billion times more than I already do. How much more does our Father in Heaven love us? I’m sure that we cannot even begin to understand how much He really cares.
3. One Sunday at church a few years back, I went home with a little print-out written by Sister Hinckley, titled “Is This What I Was Born to Do?” It talks about women in several different situations, including the story of Esther in the Bible. Esther played a monumental role in saving her people, but she first needed encouragement from her cousin, Mordecai, who said “Who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14). The Church has solemnly declared the family to be ordained of God. It is the most important unit of society. As women, we have monumental influence on others, especially our families. Before I decided to become a mom, I honestly wasn’t sure if it was the right path for me. I doubted my abilities to raise and love a baby. I thought that maybe motherhood was for other women, who seemed more sure of themselves and had known that they wanted families since their own childhood. I didn’t think I was “good enough”. But I can testify now that motherhood is the right path. It is “what I was born to do”. I have already grown and changed so much these past few months because of this little person who depends on me. It took an act of faith decide to embark on this journey, but I know it was right, and I can hardly wait for all the learning and loving I’ll be able to experience in the future because of it.
