from moments to memories

The blog has been pretty quiet this week, mostly because all my allotted computer time has gone toward putting together my 2013 photos for a printed book. I’ve gone through almost all of that year, retouching some and choosing favorites.

As I sift through this conglomeration of moments, I, of course, start feeling a little sentimental. How has so much time passed so quickly? Our everyday life has changed so much in the past two years. What once were ordinary occurrences are now some of my favorite memories.

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I’m grateful for all those times those little arms wrap around me. All the late nights nursing a baby back to sleep. The laughs and squeals only a daddy could get out of his little girls.

Life (especially with little ones) seems to go fast and slow all at the same time. It’s easy to focus on the minutes… but here’s to cherishing the moments a little more. In the end, I think that’s what’s going to matter most.

change

(drafted Oct 27th)

Tonight we drove by our old apartment. Michael started reminiscing:

“We made snowmen in that field… and played baseball!”

My eyes welled up with a few tears.

Our home was so very tiny. It was adorned with dingy old furniture and even smelled musty no matter how much I’d clean. But it was ours, and we filled that little apartment with so many memories. It was our first home together.

Closing that door for the last time two and a half years ago ended a chapter in our newlywed life. We were finished with our undergraduate studies. There would be no more late nights studying or stressing about tests. That part of our life was over.

We opened another door by moving to a larger place. The extra room became Lelia’s for a semester that passed all too quickly. Another door closed when she graduated and moved away, but it was only a couple weeks later that we learned we’d be adding a baby to our family.

Deciding to have a baby closed the door to more schooling or any kind of career for me. I knew it was important to stay home with my daughter.

Kaya was born and a completely new part of my heart was opened. I can’t remember what it was like not to know this kind of love.

Maggie passed away, but her loss allowed us to adopt Jax.Nothing is as constant as change

All throughout our lives, we are opening and closing these figurative “doors”. It both exhilarates and frightens me. The choices we make each day are shaping our futures- who our friends are, what kind of people we’ll become, where we’ll settle down, and so on.

We’ve been doing it all along, but somehow, I’ve only just realized it. What amazes me the most is that even when one opportunity ended, there was always another just waiting to open up. Our Heavenly Father is always looking out for us. He’s there. He loves us, and He wants us to find joy in the journey of life.

I’m so grateful for today, because it was all the subtle changes of yesterday that got us here. We are stronger, wiser, and a little more thankful than we used to be.

autumn leaves

Sometimes, you just have to interrupt nap time to let her play in her favorite pajamas in the leaves._MG_9617 Every year around this time, I start to get a little nostalgic. The fall seems to have so much meaning for me.kayaleaves20131The cool air and crunchy leaves take me back to ten falls ago. My dad, brother and I would ride our bikes in the evening, just until it got too dark. My mom would have warm cookies waiting for us when we returned home.

Seven falls ago, when I first started going to church.

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Five falls ago, when I first started dating Michael, and no amount of time we spent together was ever enough.

Two falls ago, when all our hopes revolved around adding a sweet baby to our little family.kayaleaves20133And last fall, when we were blessed with the most beautiful (and crazy!) baby girl._MG_9618

I’m so thankful for falls.

joy

Lately (and especially since I’ve become a mom), I’ve found that indescribable joy can come from the very smallest of moments. It’s these little things that I think I’ll miss the most one day.

I never knew how beautiful a few tiny blonde curls of baby hair could be.

I love the way cuddles and nursing can calm her in a way nothing else can.IMG_20130527_230115

Seeing her smile and rock in my lap while listening to the “Little Duck” song takes me back to when I learned that song for my own preschool graduation. She loves it at least as much as I did.

I love her utter goofiness (like smashing her face up against the playpen and licking/biting it)._MG_6095

I never knew that a few silent moments in a hot shower could feel like an hour.

Even getting caught in a torrential downpour during a family walk is a memory I want to keep. We ran home as fast as we could, dog galloping with his mouth wide open and tongue hanging out, and Kaya giggling as raindrops pelted her in the face. I couldn’t keep myself from laughing right along with her.IMG_20130523_215812

going back

It's always right about this time of year that I really miss the experiences I had studying abroad in Switzerland. I made great friends, learned a whole lot about myself, and truly realized what my relationship with God is- sure, we're His sons and daughters, but He is also our Friend. Even when I didn't know any of my classmates, I knew I wasn't alone.

My love for running also developed in that small Swiss town. There wasn't a gym, and I had to fit into my wedding dress when I returned back to the States, so I had to do something! While exercising, I would always smell the chimney smoke in the brisk winter air, and even now that scent drops me right back to those days. In the mornings, I'd often run past two very old men speed-walking. Sometimes on my way to the barn now, I pass two elderly American men, walking down the path to get some exercise. Maybe Americans and Europeans aren't completely different after all?

I miss…

Our big yellow villa.

Our street, the palm trees, the old church, and an elementary school.

Taking the train and admiring Les Alpes out the window.

Italian & Swiss-Italian cuisine.

And real gelato (Nutella flavor, stracciatella, after eight… mmm!)

I guess I'll just have to visit in my dreams, until we can go back again someday!