five on friday (05/21)

Well…

It’s been a LONG time! A reeeeeally long time for me, considering how often I used to post. There have been a lot of reasons I’ve stepped back from this space, some simple, and some that could have their own blog post, but now, almost 9 months later, I think I’m ready to start coming back.

I’ve missed this, and I’ve realized that sharing my joy only multiplies it. If writing brings just one person a smile (even if the one person is myself), it’s more than worth it.

It’s impossible to sum up nine months in five bullet points, so I’m not going to try. I’m just going to touch on some of the things that have brought us happiness lately:

ONE. Our greatest joy during this time has been our BABY BOY!!! Chandler Beau was born in October, just five days after we took our maternity family pictures. Looking back and remembering how big my belly was gives me a renewed sense of awe for the human body. I’m so grateful to have been able to carry him and bring him into this world.

His sisters met him at home, since no visitors were allowed in the hospital due to COVID-19. It was one of the best mornings of their lives when they woke up and saw their brother for the first time.

He brings us a thousand smiles every single day. We love our little guy so much.

TWO. We’ve still homeschooled this year, and we’re getting ready to wrap it all up for summer! We’re at the end of 3rd grade, 1st grade, and Pre-K. These girls have done amazing and made so many great strides during an unpredictable year. I’m so proud of us. This picture was from our spring break, when they were so happy to play dolls with me.

THREE. SCOUT!!! Our puppy turned 4 years old in January (guess that means I can’t call her a puppy anymore, right?), and she’s doing so well. Her bloodwork last year showed some impaired kidney function, but as of her last physical, everything came back normal! I’m glad my furry pal is doing well. She follows me around all day long, loves trying to lick Chandler, and does such a funny, happy dance when she knows it’s time for one of the girls to feed her.

FOUR. I’ve still been running, but due to the pandemic, I haven’t done any in-person races this year. Maybe soon? I miss the thrill of the starting line. I did do a virtual race to raise awareness for maternal mental health on Mother’s Day weekend. Mental health is something I’ve become passionate about as I’ve worked harder than ever on my own.

FIVE. We’ve finally seen the light at the end of the pandemic. Michael and I have both been vaccinated, and I’m looking forward to seeing extended family again soon! Michael was pretty lucky- his only vaccine side effect was being extremely tired and sleeping almost all day long. I had an intense immune response, with achey joints, chills, shaking, hot flashes, dizziness, and nausea. Phew. It lasted for about 30 hours, but I’m glad I did it. Here’s to a brighter 2021. Happy weekend!!!

baby #5: 30 weeks

(written August 14th)

30s!!! I can’t even believe we’re here. Somehow, this has simultaneously felt like the longest journey ever and also a mystery as to where the last 7 months have gone. We’re at that point in time now where I feel like we’re so close to the end, but still so far.

Baby’s size: My apps say just over 3 pounds and about 16 inches long. Random size comparisons for this week include a platypus, a motorcycle helmet, or a cantaloupe!

Maternity clothes?: Should this even be a question at this point? Nella always wants to match clothes with me, and she still tries to choose tops out of my regular drawer. It’s so sad when I have to tell her that none of those fit right now because she makes the most let-down pouty face ever.

To be honest, I feel kind of huge this time around. My weight is right around where it always is at this point… It’s just amazing how there can be so much variability in bump size and shape based on so many different factors.

Gender: BOY!

Symptoms: I’ve been doing okay! I went back and read my 30-week post with Eve, and apparently, I was already having Braxton Hicks contractions, which seems totally crazy! I am surprised that I haven’t noticed any yet, since it seems like many moms get them earlier and earlier with each subsequent pregnancy. I am definitely not complaining!

Sleep: I’ve been having a hard time falling asleep at night again. My brain just won’t quiet down, and if Michael falls asleep before me, it’s even harder for me. I am still napping every day, but I’ve been really trying to limit for how long, since I know that can affect my nighttime sleep. It kind of feels like a vicious cycle. I’ve had some weird dreams this week, too- one where I went over my due date, and another where I saw my placenta and it was all gray and dead-looking, not like a placenta should be at all. It was pretty creepy, actually.

Movement: He is still my strong, wild boy! I love feeling him dance around as I fall asleep and wake up. He’s getting so strong and sometimes his movements hurt a little or surprise me! He was breech at our ultrasound last week, and I know he probably has been flipping around throughout the pregnancy, but overall, I feel like he’s spent the vast majority of the last 12 weeks head-down. I’m pretty sure he’s been head-down again because his super strong feet keep pushing up above my belly button. Also, he had hiccups for the first time that I’ve noticed! They were as low as possible in my belly, so I’m still thinking he flipped back.

Cravings: Nothing really. I feel like I eat because I have to most of the time, not because I really want to. 

What I miss: Maybe just not feeling so tired all the time.

Anything making you queasy or sick?: Sometimes I wake up feeling queasy, and I’m usually nauseous again after dinnertime. I get nauseous when I go uphill on my runs, which is kind of annoying, but it’s really been okay. I have been able to eat and I’m not confined to my bed like I was so much with Eve. I’m trying my hardest to stay functional.

Belly Button in or out?: Flat, and just when I think it can’t get any flatter, it does! I apparently have a freckle that is usually in my belly button that’s now just visible on my belly. Weird.

Exercising?: Ran 21.9 miles (longest run was 5.1 miles); walked 1 mile. Best average pace this week was 10:06 min/mile. Running has been good this week. My biggest enemy is just fatigue! I’ve also really been cracking down on doing more yoga consistently, which helps with any hip soreness for sure.

Mood: I’ve been really working hard on controlling any fears and trying to stay positive. Also, I’ve still just been nesting like crazy. I organized all our holiday stuff into plastic bins, and came up with a bag to donate and a bag to trash. I also bought a headboard for our bed (which unfortunately came damaged) because I really want to make that a cozy space before I’m in there nursing a baby so often. I still have things I want to hang on the wall, and I really want to get started with painting the guest room/baby’s future room.

Best moment this week: Michael took Kaya and Kaelyn on a hike this week, and they had the best time. It also meant that I got to have a whole day with Nella and Eve! It felt special to just be with the two of them. We played American Girl Dolls and I gave them thin mint cookies with their lunch.

Looking forward to: Doing some more little projects around the house! I’m also figuring out if I’m making him a baby blanket and what that might look like.

Big sisters: Kaya and Kaelyn have made him some cards for when he comes home. They are sad that they won’t be allowed to visit at the hospital due to COVID-19. All the girls kiss my belly (Eve says, “Say hi to baby!”) when she comes to kiss my belly. So sweet.

Comparison: 30 weeks with Kaya; 30 weeks with Kaelyn; 30 weeks with Nella; 30 weeks with Eve.

P.S.- Michael loves to leave these silly pictures on my camera. Ha!

baby #5: 28 weeks

(Written July 31st)

Baby’s size: About 15 inches tall and about 2.25 pounds, which is about the size of a rollerblade, an echidna, or a coconut! I love these randomly weird comparisons.

Maternity clothes?: Yes! I got some maternity running shorts this week, which is so exciting, because that didn’t even used to be a thing. So much has changed for pregnant women in the last few years! It’s awesome. I love not having a low waistband pressing on my belly. I also got a couple of larger running shirts, and it’s been great to not have to worry about my shirt riding up on the run.

Gender: Our sweet baby boy! We love him so much already.

Symptoms: Some heartburn and achey hips. TUMS and yoga have helped!

Sleep: I feel like I’ve been sleeping SO much (naps every day after we finish homeschool), but I’m still walking around like a zombie. Michael has always liked to stay up late, but with the pandemic, his bedtime/wake-up time has shifted even slightly later… which makes it a little harder for me. If I go to bed without him, I inevitably wake up when he walks in the room. If only I wasn’t such a light sleeper!

Movement: This little guy wiggles, kicks, and punches ALL DAY LONG! I’ve even started frequently feeling him move while I’m running, which is a somewhat odd sensation. On the days I don’t run, I like to wake up slowly and just feel him kicking. He’s always awake before me. I’m grateful for every sign that he’s okay.

Cravings: None this week.

What I miss: It’s hard to bend over! The girls always need help tidying up so that’s been a little difficult. I love having a cute bump, but I’m kind of at the point where I miss having a flatter tummy and not feeling huge.

Anything making you queasy or sick?: I had one sick day, but otherwise, I’ve been doing well with nausea this week. I was able to actually sit next to the girls during lunch a few times, which is something I haven’t been able to do because of the smell of their yogurt and salad dressing. I’m still brushing my teeth after every meal like I have been this entire pregnancy, but I really can’t complain.

Belly Button in or out?: Flat.

Exercising?: Ran 26.1 miles (longest run was 7.11 miles); walked 2.2 miles. Best average pace this week was 10:04 min/mile.

Mood: I had some good days this week… and some stressful, anxious days. This baby is so, so wanted… but it doesn’t seem real that he’s real. He kicks me all day long, but it’s been hard to actually imagine having him here with us this time. I’ve been trying to do things to get ready for him. I bought some boy clothes and we picked out paint for his future room, but somehow, I’m still missing the lighthearted excitement I had with my other babies. I’ve realized that all this is stemming from unresolved trauma from my miscarriages. It’s hard. I’m trying my best and taking everything one day at a time.

Best moment this week: I have loved taking walks with my babies in the warm sunshine. It’s so simple, but I’m grateful to all be together and watch them having fun.

Looking forward to: We have another growth ultrasound next week, so I’m looking forward to seeing him and hopefully getting another view of his adorable face.

Big sisters: Nella loves to include the new baby in all our family prayers. If someone leaves him out, she’s quick to remind them! It’s pretty fun to see how much she cares about him already.

Comparison: 28 weeks with Kaya; 28 weeks with Kaelyn; 28 weeks with Nella; 28 weeks with Eve.

baby #5: 27 weeks

(Written July 24th)

Baby’s size: The apps say about 14.5 inches tall and around 2 pounds still. Apparently, this is about equivalent to a bunch of bananas or a cabbage!

Maternity clothes?: YES! I started wearing my support belt most of the time now, and it makes a huge difference in how my belly feels, especially by the end of the day. The belt is magical and makes everything a lot more comfortable. I did squeeze into my non-maternity tie dye shirt for a day though so that I could match the girls.

Gender: It still feels strange to say, “It’s a BOY!” sometimes! We are all so excited, though!

Symptoms: This is kind of a new one for me… heartburn! I remember that I had it just once with Eve’s pregnancy and never at any other time. I’ve had a couple of nights where it feels like I’m right on the verge of having full-on heartburn, but it just keeps building up and never getting to an extreme level. Very weird.

Sleep: Sleep has been tough lately. I sometimes can’t stop thinking long enough to fall asleep. I sleep the best when I completely wear myself out… like I have with my long Saturday runs, or preparing for birthday parties or all our Fourth of July activities. I actually like being exhausted because then I just pass right out!

Movement: I love feeling his little feet kicking up high on my right side, and his little fists down low in the middle of my belly. If push on the left side of my lower belly, I think he’s elbowing my hand because he doesn’t seem to like that too much. Haha.

Cravings: Chocolate-chip cookies and a Greek gyro. Yum. I also had scrambled eggs after my long run this week and they were possibly the best eggs I’ve ever had in my life. I feel like I’ve generally just been really into protein (and salt) during this pregnancy.

What I miss: Bending down to pick things up is getting difficult, and so is rolling over in bed at night.

Anything making you queasy or sick?: I’ve gotten some intense waves of nausea, but this week has definitely been better than last. I also just wish I would enjoy eating my salad every day instead of just getting through it!

Belly Button in or out?: It’s pretty much flat already!

Exercising?: Ran 24.7 miles (longest run was 7.51 miles); walked 1 mile. Best average pace this week was 10:04 min/mile. Every single day is so different now. I had a run I had to cut short because my pelvis just felt awful, but then I had other days where it was easy and I could go for miles and miles. Crazy.

Mood: I really felt like I was doing better with managing my anxiety, but the last few days have been rough. I think there’s just so much going on in the world right now, and so all that, on top of pregnancy-related fears, has just weighed me down. I ended up deleting certain social media apps from my phone because constantly seeing everything going on is not helping me.

In other news, nesting is happening in full-force. I took everything out of one of the girls’ playroom cabinets to reorganize it all. Michael painted some new shelves for me that we’ll be putting together soon, and I replaced all the prints in my living room picture frames. I know that none of that is too crazy, but I have a lot of other things on my list that I want to get done before we bring a baby home.

Best moment this week: We tie-dyed with the girls for the first time ever, and they loved it so much! Revealing their shirts to them after they were washed was the best. We all matched outfits that day, and it was a lot of fun.

Looking forward to: Hopefully having some fun with the girls on the weekend and enjoying some non-thunderstormy weather!

Big sisters: At this point, they’ve just been calling him “Brother Handsome!” Kaelyn is totally on board with making that his official name.

Comparison: 27 weeks with Kaya; 27 weeks with Kaelyn; 27 weeks with Nella; 27 weeks with Eve.

baby #5: 26 weeks

(Written July 17th)

Baby’s size: The apps say about 14-14.5 inches tall and around 2 pounds. This is about the same size as a bowling pin!

Maternity clothes?: Um, yes. Honestly, I am feeling kind of huge these days. I remember feeling on the smaller side still when I was pregnant with Eve at this point, but my belly is looking more like it did with Nella. It’s crazy to think that I still have 14 weeks of growing left to do.

Gender: Our baby boy! We all love him so much already.

Symptoms: A little belly soreness, but I’ve been trying to keep up with the stretching and yoga, which helps so much.

Sleep: Sleep has been better this week! I’ve been taking huge naps and still sleeping pretty soundly at night. The amount of sleep I seem to need is unreal, but I’m trying to give my body what it needs. I finally had a “giving birth” dream, but it was pretty peaceful, so hopefully that’s a sign of good things to come!

Movement: He’s wild. His movements feel so much like a (giant) goldfish just splashing around in there. Or, maybe like butterfly wings. If he were a girl, his nickname would surely be Butterfly, haha.

Cravings: Chocolate-chip cookies, but here’s a new one for me… raisin bran?! Totally weird but so delicious.

What I miss: Sometimes, pregnancy feels like this huge battle with your body just to keep up with daily life. I guess I just miss it feeling a little easier.

Anything making you queasy or sick?: Nausea wrecked a couple of my days this week. It was so intense that even sitting in an upright position made it worse. Because I was so sick with Eve, part of me just accepts it, but there’s still a part of my brain that really struggles with not being able to do the things I want to do. Resting is more mentally challenging than anything else.

Belly Button in or out?: Well, I’d say it’s officially flat. I had kind of a funny moment this week where I spilled some conditioner onto my belly in the shower, and I went to make sure none got in my belly button, but there wasn’t because it had just rolled on past where my belly button used to be. Haha.

Exercising?: Ran 26 miles (longest run was 7.33 miles); walked 4 miles. Best average pace this week was 9:53 min/mile.

Mood: Nesting has definitely already kicked in. It’s crazy, because part of me feels like I still have sooo long to still be pregnant, but then my brain is telling me I need to get all these things done right now. We’ve hung up new pictures, I’ve been doing some organizing, and Michael has started refinishing the deck. There’s still so much I want to do.

Best moment this week: We celebrated Evie’s 2nd birthday! I keep looking at the pictures and videos because I just loved having such a special day just for her. Birthdays are my favorite.

Looking forward to: Michael is planning to start painting the deck this weekend, and we also promised the girls we’d do tie dye! I’m really looking forward to seeing how both of those things turn out!

Big sisters: Without fail, every time I get home from a run and take my support belt off, Eve asks, “What’s that?” It’s so funny that she’s so amazed by it every time.

Comparison: 26 weeks with Kaya; 26 weeks with Kaelyn; 26 weeks with Nella; 26 weeks with Eve.

baby #5: 25 weeks

(written July 10th)Baby’s size: At our growth ultrasound this week, he was about two pounds already, which puts him in the 76th percentile!

Maternity clothes?: Yes! My shorts came in the mail, and they feel so great. I also bought a couple of new tops, because let’s face it, after 5 pregnancies, a few of my old ones are pretty worn, and it feels nice to have something new.

Gender: My sweet baby BOY! I am already wrapped around his little finger after seeing his ultrasound pictures this week.Symptoms: Just some sore ligaments/right hip, but I’ve been stretching a lot more, and that’s definitely helping. I also keep feeling like I’m about to have heartburn but then it never really kicks in. Totally weird!

Sleep: I’ve still been super tired, which has helped with getting some really sound nighttime sleep. I’m still napping most days.Movement: He’s still his wild self, which is great. He was grabbing his toes at our ultrasound, and I even got an awesome picture of his little fist (probably winding up to punch me the way he likes to)! I also felt him poking his knobby little knee far enough out toward my belly button that I could actually touch it on the outside. It was wild, and Michael was lucky enough to feel it, too!Cravings: Chocolate-chip cookies, a chicken sandwich, and a Greek gyro. Mmm.

What I miss: Not being tired all the time,

Anything making you queasy or sick?: I’ve had stronger, more frequent waves of nausea, and an overall lower appetite, but I have still been okay. Let’s hope it stays that way, because this is really when the nausea came back in full force for me with Eve.

Belly Button in or out?: In.

Exercising?: Ran 25.7 miles (longest run was 6.7 miles). Best average pace this week was 9:41 min/mile.

Mood: I am feeling so much better after having a good report at our ultrasound. I even have felt small twinges of excitement this week for the first time this pregnancy! It’s really taken me a long time to get here, but I am grateful to be feeling more optimistic and hopeful. Just look at his little face!Best moment this week: We had the best Fourth of July at home this past weekend, with swimming in our little pool, eating great food, and enjoying doing sparklers and watching the town fireworks right from our house. It felt perfect.

Looking forward to: Celebrating Evie’s 2nd birthday this upcoming weekend!

Big sisters: Kaelyn has decided she just wants to name him, “Baby Handsome”. Haha.

Comparison: 25 weeks with Kaya; 25 weeks with Kaelyn; 25 weeks with Nella; 25 weeks with Eve.

baby #5: 24 weeks

(written July 3rd)Baby’s size: He’s about 1.3 pounds and 11.5 inches long. This is about the size of a pomegranate!

Maternity clothes?: Yes, bottoms and tops! I sized up my (non-maternity) running shorts this week, and I’ve been wearing the support belt a little more often. My old maternity shorts are not at all supportive, so I ordered two new pairs to try that will come next week. I’m hoping those will feel a lot better on my belly.

Gender: BOY! He still has no name. I’m completely at a loss.

Symptoms: I had some achey ligaments and a sore right hip. I slacked off on my yoga last week, and I think it definitely makes a huge difference (especially while running). I’m back to doing my stretches so that I can keep on being active.

Sleep: I’ve forced myself to not take a nap a few days this week (it’s more challenging than it sounds), which means I just pass out at night. It’s made for better nighttime sleep, but getting through the afternoon/evening is rough!

I’ve really felt the fatigue come back and hit me hard (which seems like something that’s not supposed to happen until the third trimester)! I also keep having those weird animal-related nightmares. This week it was using a public bathroom that had a dead goat in it. Bleh.

Movement: He gets stronger all the time, and I love it so much. He surprises me often with how powerful his kicks already are. He punches really low and always kicks on my right side.

Cravings: Chocolate-chip cookies still! I tried a new recipe this week, and it was amazing. I’ve actually had a couple of moments where I was hungry… which sounds so weird, but I have mostly just been eating meals because I know that’s what I need to do. Actually feeling hunger and a desire to eat is something I haven’t experienced much these past few months!

What I miss: I miss feeling like I could get more done in a day. I never have enough energy for everything I want to accomplish!

Anything making you queasy or sick?: I have definitely had more frequent waves of nausea this week, although it hasn’t been completely debilitating.

Belly Button in or out?: In, but I feel like it’s getting more and more shallow.

Exercising?: Ran 25.5 miles (longest run was 6.53 miles); walked 1.1 miles. Best average pace this week was 9:40 min/mile.

Running is a total wildcard these days. I never know if it’s going to feel awesome or absolutely horrible until I just get out there and do it. I had one completely amazing and easy run, and another one where I came home and started bawling when Michael asked me how it went because it just felt so challenging. It’s all the ligaments in my lower belly that get sore so quickly.

Mood: I’m taking everything one day at a time, which has really helped lower my stress level a bit. My pregnancy feels like it’s just crawling on by though, while my friends’ (those both ahead of and behind me) all seem like they’re flying so fast to me. Time is a weird thing right now.

Best moment this week: Celebrating Kaelyn’s 6th birthday!!! She had a little party with just us, but it was perfect. We love her so much!

Looking forward to: Celebrating Eve’s 2nd birthday next week!

Big sisters: They are suddenly really advocating for the one name I was considering weeks ago… and I think it’s making me realize that I don’t like the name! I think the girls just really want to be able to call him something besides “Baby”!

Comparison: 24 weeks with Kaya; 24 weeks with Kaelyn; 24 weeks with Nella; 24 weeks with Eve.

baby #5: 23 weeks

(written June 26th)

Baby’s size: He’s supposedly about a foot long and weighs around 1.25 pounds! It always feels like a big deal to reach over the one-pound mark. Apparently, this is the same size as a chinchilla, a bunch of grapes, or a Bûche de Noel (anyone else remember making those in French class?)!

Maternity clothes?: Well, I did it- halfway through this week, I broke out some of my maternity shirts. It almost seems like my belly grew overnight, and many of my regular tops are now tight on my belly. The girls are a little disappointed that I can’t wear some of the shirts we usually wear when we match.

Gender: My sweet baby boy. I’m so eager to meet him!

Symptoms: Whew, round ligament pain! It was pretty bad there for a couple of days, and it even affected my running… but I’m feeling better now.

Sleep: Sleep has been hard. I’ve struggled with anxiety at night, which then starts this vicious cycle of me not being able to sleep, which then leads to a nap in the afternoon, and then repeating being unable to sleep well the next night. I’ve been meditating and diffusing essential oils at bedtime, and those things seem to help a little.Movement: His movements are getting so big! I can’t believe how strong he is. Sometimes, he kicks so hard that it surprises me and I exclaim, “Oh!” I feel him almost all day long now. It’s great. He still is quietest in the mornings.

Cravings: Chocolate-chip cookies and cheese puffs. I had both of those this week!

What I miss: I miss seeing our family and friends. Being alone here is making time drag on a bit.

Anything making you queasy or sick?: I’ve actually been okay. Every once in awhile, the nausea will flare up, but it hasn’t ruined my entire day anytime this week.

Belly Button in or out?: In, wide, and weird.

Exercising?: Ran 25.4 miles (longest run was 6.5 miles). Best average pace this week was 8:41 min/mile on the treadmill.

Mood: I’ve already talked about this above under the “sleep” category, but I’ve been anxious. I’m trying my best to get through it, but sometimes I can’t help worrying about the baby being okay and getting him here safely. I’ve had days where I just want pregnancy to be over (something I’ve never wanted to rush) just so I can hold him. It feels like such a very long wait still.

Best moment this week: This was actually from last week (oops), but I finally had a dream about his little face, and I just keep holding onto that image to help give me peace. I think he’s going to look a lot like Evie, but maybe with Nella’s nose.

Looking forward to: Celebrating Kaelyn’s 6th birthday this weekend!

Big sisters: Kaya and Kaelyn just keep telling me, “I love him sooo much already!” They can’t wait to hold him, and they kiss my belly all the time.

Comparison: 23 weeks with Kaya; 23 weeks with Kaelyn; 23 weeks with Nella; 23 weeks with Eve.

baby #5: 22 weeks

Baby’s size: Around 11 inches long and supposedly about 15 ounces, which is the same as an ear of corn or a guinea pig! Thinking about him being the same size as Freyja or Claire really makes him seem so tiny still.

Maternity clothes?: Still just the jeans and stretchy or flowy tops. I broke out the shorts once this week because we had summer-like weather… but it’s been cold and rainy again, so it’s back to pants and light jackets. Luckily, my jackets still zip with plenty of room to spare.

Gender: Our sweet baby BOY! It’s feeling a little less strange to say “he”, which has been an adjustment after four girls. I have one name I found about 6 weeks ago that I’m kind of leaning toward, but I’m trying to keep an open mind still. We have a lot of time left to choose!

Symptoms: I had a sore belly for a couple of days this week. I guess it’s stretching and growing, and that’s a good thing! It was pretty uncomfortable, but I’m back to normal now and feeling fine.

Sleep: I think I’ve taken fewer naps this week than I have throughout the rest of the pregnancy! My desire to get things done is sometimes outweighing my inclination to sleep. Michael has also been trying to go to bed a little earlier, which is helpful for me getting more nighttime shuteye.

Movement: This little guy is most definitely a night owl… like his daddy, I guess! He sometimes wiggles a little in the morning, but he really starts his dance parties in the late afternoon and evening.Cravings: Chocolate-chip cookies and cheesy puffs. I normally like dessert, but the salty cravings have seemed so much more intense this time. I really like to eat healthy most of the time, so craving stuff like that is a bit guilt-inducing!

What I miss: I cut dairy out of my diet (again) last week… and I kind of miss ice cream. Really though, I feel so much better without it. It’s also just been a long time on lockdown here in Virginia due to COVID-19, and while I understand why, I am really missing spending the summer at the pool and taking my girls to the library.

Anything making you queasy or sick?: I get nauseous on and off, but overall, I’ve been a lot better this week. I still don’t get too excited about eating salad, but I do it every day anyway.

Belly Button in or out?: In, but wide and weird.

Exercising?: Ran 26.2 miles (longest run was 7.53 miles); walked 2.1 miles. Best average pace this week was 9:35 min/mile. I busted out the belly support belt for my runs this week. It’s felt amazing! I needed it more than I realized.

Mood: Whew. There’s been so much going on lately, and it hasn’t been easy to not let my worries and stress take over. We did manage to get a new washing machine, but we’re still sorting out some health problems that Scout is having. I hate knowing that my fur baby is sick. It’s heartbreaking.

To be honest, I also still worry about the baby a lot. I’m trying to hold on to the fleeting bursts of excitement I feel when I think about finally holding him and having him here, instead of the fears I have about everything continuing to go well.

Best moment this week: It’s been really rainy, so we’ve had a pretty laid-back week of doing crafts and snuggling up for movies. I love that time with my girls.

Looking forward to: I get to have a growth scan in 2.5 weeks, and I’m looking forward to seeing the baby again for sure!

Big sisters: Nella has now decided that we shouldn’t name the baby “Cookie Monster”. All the girls really like the one name that I am leaning toward, but we’ll see! They ask about him all the time and get excited to see how big he is each week according to my pregnancy apps.

Comparison: 22 weeks with Kaya22 weeks with Kaelyn22 weeks with Nella; 22 weeks with Eve.

baby #5: 21 weeks

(written June 11th)

Baby’s size: 10.5 inches long (the same as a carrot or a baseball cap)!

Maternity clothes?: Still just the jeans, although I’m about ready to switch over to shorts with how hot it’s already been! Regular shirts are still fitting okay but starting to get a little short. I probably only have a couple of weeks until I’m completely in maternity stuff.

Gender: It’s a BOY! He still has no name, but we have a little while to figure that out.

Symptoms: None!

Sleep: I still take a nap every afternoon. It’s crazy! I’m grateful that I can do that, though.

Movement: He moves SO MUCH! I love it. He seems to be constantly active between lunchtime and bedtime (and I guess he still could be moving while I’m asleep, but it doesn’t keep me awake). Sometimes, I feel him first thing in the morning, but generally, he’s a lot calmer. I felt kicks up above my belly button for the first time this week. I can’t believe he’s already big enough to reach that high!

Cravings: I still am not that into food… except for chocolate. I did have this oddly vivid dream of eating a chicken sandwich this week though. I might have to make that happen.

What I miss: Maybe just having more energy. It’s been tough to get things done.

Anything making you queasy or sick?: This week has definitely had a LOT more nausea than the past few. It usually comes in big waves throughout the day, but today was particularly bad because it just lingered all day long. I try not to complain and to stay strong, but when it feels nearly impossible to be functional, it’s hard.

Belly Button in or out?: In.

Exercising?: Ran 26.1 miles (longest run was 7.5 miles); walked 1.9 miles. Best average pace this week was 9:30 min/mile.

Mood: I’ve been a lot less anxious this week, which is great. I think nesting has started to a small degree because I keep coming up with house projects I want to do (I just need energy to actually make a plan and do them)!

Best moment this week: We’ve been trying to take more family walks when the weather is nice. All the girls want to hold my hand while Daddy pushes the stroller and it just melts my heart completely.

Looking forward to: This isn’t pregnancy-related, but after a couple of weeks and a lot of phone calls, our washing machine is being replaced next week (under warranty, thankfully)! I’m ready to have a working washer at our house again.

Big sisters: Kaya still always asks if he’s kicking! She really wants to feel him again, but it’s tricky to time it.

Comparison: 21 weeks with Kaya21 weeks with Kaelyn21 weeks with Nella; 21 weeks with Eve.