getting ready to meet our fourth daughter (& maternity pictures)

We’re nearing the end of pregnancy, when the days seem to slow down, and waiting to meet our baby feels so tangible, yet simultaneously mystic, as we wonder just when she will decide to join our family.

Despite all her kicks and punches, in a way, she still feels like someone who only exists in my dreams, and I don’t know if she’ll feel “real” until I see her in person for the first time.

Back in the fall, we knew we wanted to have another baby, and we were overjoyed when we found out we were expecting. Although it’s been a hard physical journey for me ever since then, enduring almost-constant nausea, I never want it to seem like I’m complaining or ungrateful for the experience of being able to bring a child into our family. This little girl is more than worth that fight, and I feel so much gratitude for her. It definitely hasn’t been easy, and I feel like in my sickest times, I’ve almost forgotten who I “normally” am. I savor the days I’m able to eat, clean the house, and play with my kids.

Several friends and family members have cooked for us, brought meals, watched our older girls, and even just offered to be there to help in any way, all of which has meant so much to me. There were times I was moved to tears just to know someone cares so much about our little family and how we’re doing.

And of course, Michael has been my rock these past nine months. He’s been by my side, encouraging and uplifting me.

It’s unfathomable how our hearts inevitably grow with each new baby we bring into our family. Right now, Nella is my baby, and I have a hard time imagining a new little person who is just as amazing as she is. Still, I know that once we meet her, this new baby girl will instantly have us wrapped around her tiny fingers.

Everything is about to change, and welcoming a new family dynamic can seem a little overwhelming, but I know how much these girls are all going to love having each other as they go through life together.

There’s still some concern about the size of this baby girl, and although in my heart I feel she is okay, we’ll be checking on her via ultrasound this week. I’ve felt anxious anticipating labor and her birth, but in these last couple of weeks, I’m trying to find peace in however her delivery goes, and do all I can to keep her healthy and safe.

I’m cherishing her little kicks and being the only person who truly knows her right now. I love having a little buddy with me at all times, and I know I’m going to miss that once she’s born.We all love you so much, Baby Girl, and we can’t wait to meet you sometime in the next couple of weeks, whenever you’re ready.