the birth story

If you don’t want to read all the details of labor, then this story isn’t for you. I didn’t write anything weird or gory, but I know that some people just don’t care for this type of thing. I still wanted to write it, though, because it is important to me, and I hope that it might also be encouraging and uplifting for other women who are unsure of the birth experience.

September 17th was the day before my due date, and my last scheduled doctor appointment. The nurse asked if I’d be interested in her sweeping my membranes to help start my labor, and of course I said yes!

I’d been having lots of Braxton Hicks contractions every night for the week prior, and each time they seemed to be getting stronger and lasting for a longer stretch of time. Each night I’d hoped that they’d turn into the “real deal”, but hadn’t had any such luck. The nurse told me that if the sweep worked, I’d most likely go into labor within 24-48 hours. She said that real contractions don’t stop when you drink water or take a bath, but Braxton Hicks will.

I was 2 cm dilated when I left the doctor’s office, and since I knew I was likely to go into labor soon, I went home and took a short nap and relaxed. I did start having some cramps and tightness in my stomach, but I was still well enough to go to the grocery store with Michael that evening. Once we got home, though, the tightness was getting more frequent, so I took a bubble bath to see if it’d stop… and it didn’t!

By 10:30 pm, there was no doubt that real contractions had started! They stayed about 4 minutes apart all night long, and they were intense enough that I couldn’t really sleep through them. I think I managed to doze off for maybe an hour or two, but otherwise, Michael and I were up all night, taking walks and trying to watch some Netflix to distract ourselves and pass time.

The contractions started getting more and more intense, and by about 11 am I was ready to go to the hospital. We arrived around 11:30 and they monitored me for a while to see if I was  really in labor. I was dilated to 3 cm and having contractions anywhere from 3.5 to 4 minutes apart. Since I was progressing, they admitted me. I was so nervous and excited all at the same time! This was it- I was finally going to have a baby!

The contractions became stronger and stronger, but they still weren’t really coming at consistent time intervals. Around 3 pm, I was 4 cm dilated, and our nurse suggested that the doctor break my water to help move things along. After my water was broken, contractions picked up in intensity and time- they were 2-3 minutes apart and about a minute long, which lasted for approximately two to three hours.

Around 8 pm, I really started to lose control of my body. I had been in natural labor for nearly 22 hours at this point, just breathing through the contractions and not taking any sort of pain relief. Because I hadn’t had much to drink or eaten for a long time, I felt both dehydrated and a drop in my blood sugar. The nurse gave me an IV to help out, but my body was exhausted. I was breaking down mentally and physically. I couldn’t focus enough to get through the contractions and was starting to consider some kind of painkiller.

Michael knew how important a natural birth was to me, so he urged me to have my cervix checked before I made any decisions that I might regret later. He thought that if I was dilated a lot further and nearing the end, maybe I could push through the last bit of pain and do it all naturally. I reluctantly agreed. One of the women working that night was a nurse training to be a midwife, and when she checked me, she shook her head- I was STILL at only 4 cm. It was 5.5 hours after my water had been broken, and we had seen no progress. My heart dropped, and Michael said he felt my dream of a natural birth die.

Twenty-two hours of labor had already exhausted me, and the nurse-midwife told me that she thought my body was just too tired to progress and that I needed to rest. I cried and confessed to her that I didn’t want to be a “wimp”, and give up having a natural birth. Nothing seemed to be going the way I’d hoped it would. It was hard, but I honestly believe that if I had tried to continue on in my fatigued state, my body would not have been able to deliver my baby.

The nurse-midwife, nurse-training-to-be-midwife, and our nurse all wholeheartedly assured me that I was not a wimp… I was strong for having endured labor for as long as I had. The nurse also told me that they wanted to start me on Pitocin, especially since my water had already been broken for awhile at this point.

I decided then to get the epidural.

I had always said that I never ever wanted an epidural. I didn’t want to feel paralyzed, and I wanted to be able to feel pushing my baby out. Thankfully for me, the epidural wasn’t exactly as I thought it would be- I could still wiggle my toes and move my legs, and when it came time to push, I could feel everything I needed to to get the job done.

As much as I had wanted a natural birth, I honestly feel that I made the right decision for both myself and my baby. Modern medicine is a real blessing, and we shouldn’t be afraid to use the technology we have if we truly need it. Labor doesn’t always go the way you plan for- and that’s okay. All that really matters is that there’s a healthy mom and baby at the end of it all.

The anesthesiologist administered the epidural around 8:30 pm, and they started me on Pitocin at about 9:20 pm. I could still feel my stomach getting tight, but there was no more pain! It actually felt a lot like all those Braxton Hicks I’d had!

I was finally able to rest for a bit. Luckily, Michael was able to sleep a little, too. The nurse came in and checked me around 1 am… and I was at 9 cm! She was also very surprised at how low the baby’s head was! She didn’t check me again until 3 am- I was about a 9.5, and Kaya was sitting even lower now. She said that we could start pushing, so she went to get the nurse-midwife!

I was so excited, and my stomach was getting VERY tight now. I was so ready to push and finally meet my baby girl! The nurse-midwife was with another patient, so I had to wait until about 3:30 am to actually get started.

I was so grateful to have the women that were working there that night. They were so supportive and definitely helped give me a positive experience. All three of them and Michael were surrounding me and cheering me on the entire time.

After about an hour, at 4:26 am, our daughter was born! It was truly the most amazing experience of my entire life. She definitely had a great set of lungs right from the start! They cleaned her off and put her on my chest.

I definitely cried!

Our first photo as a family of three!

Our princess is definitely more than worth every pain and discomfort I endured. We love her so much!

2 weeks old

It’s hard to believe that it’s already been two weeks since this little princess joined our family. I feel like she has already changed so much in such a short time!

We’re still wondering what her permanent eye color will be (and I guess we’ll keep wondering for quite some time to come…) Some days they look extremely light blue, and others they look almost gray. Maybe she’ll have hazel eyes!

Her umbilical cord stump fell off this past week, so we’ve started giving her real baths and “tummy time”! The first day we put her on her stomach, she rolled herself over… twice! She is obviously already hardcore (except for last night when she was so tired that she tried to sleep through tummy time)!

She’s even started to show more interest in the things around her. I know that newborns can only focus on things at a short distance, but she is definitely curious and stares at some of her toys now.

She’s even doing better with sleeping- we’ve had a few nights of 6-hour-long stretches! Last night she slept for two 4-hour intervals, which wasn’t bad either. We are finally getting on a schedule!

She’s also been practicing using her eyebrows… I love the faces that she makes!

sweet weekend

My mom left on Friday morning, and within a few hours, Michael’s mom arrived! We are really so blessed to have moms who were willing to come and spend a few days with us and help out with Kaya. (And I’m never going to complain about our moms cooking for us!)

We had a pretty “sweet” weekend filled with homemade cinnamon buns (made by my mom-in-law!)…

My engagement photoshoot of these two sweethearts…

… and of course, LOTS of cuddles from this little sweetie!

Kaya even had her first day at church! We only stayed for sacrament meeting, but she slept through the whole thing. We also got to show her off to all the Primary kids!